More Lions Jokes December 7, 2008
Posted by The Underground Conservative in Detroit Lions, Humor, National Football League, Politics.comments closed
The ultimate in punching bags just continues unabated:
Q. What’s the difference between the Detroit Lions and the Taliban?
A. The Taliban have a running gameQ. How do the Detroit Lions count to 10?
A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10.Q. What do the Detroit Lions and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 80,000 people stand up and yell “Jesus Christ!”Q. How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
A. Put up goal postsQ. Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?
A. To Ford Field – they never get a touchdown there!Q. What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
A. A thiefQ. Why doesn’t Flint have a professional football team?
A. Because then Detroit would want one, too.Q. Why was Matt Millen upset when the Detroit Lions’ playbook was stolen?
A. Because he hadn’t finished coloring it.Q. What’s the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollarQ. How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. Nobody knows and we may never find out!Q. What do you call 53 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Detroit LionsQ. What do the Detroit Lions and opossums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the roadQ. How can you tell when the Detroit Lions are going to run the football?
A. The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.Knock knock
Who’s there.
Owen
Owen Who?
Oh an 16
Then there’s this one:
A man inherited a little over $1 billion dollars. He had three sons. He told his sons that since he now had all this money, he would like to know, what each of them would like to have. He stressed that money was no object.
His first son said that he had always wanted a Jaguar. The father went out, and since money was no object, bought him 7 Jaguars in different colors, so that he would have a different one to drive every day of the week.
His second son said that he always wanted a motorcycle. So the father went out, and again since money was no object, bought him 30 new motorcycles — 10 dirt bikes, 10 Harleys, and 10 touring bikes, so he would have a different bike to ride every day of the month.
His third and youngest son was only 8 years old. So the little guy said that he simply had wanted a Mickey Mouse outfit. So, money being no object, his father went out and bought him the Detroit Lions.
From The News Wires December 7, 2008
Posted by The Underground Conservative in Humor, National Football League.comments closed
Couple of odd items found on the news wires:
Anthrax Scare in Detroit
DETROIT (al-AP) The Detroit Lions football practice was delayed on Tuesday for nearly two hours at Ford Field . One of the players, while on his way to the locker room happened to look down and notice a suspicious-looking, unknown white powdery substance on the field. Coach Rod Marinelli immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate.
After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.
Practice was resumed when FBI Special Agents decided that the Lions would not be likely to encounter the substance again.
Then there’s this one:
DETROIT (al-Reuters) – A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Detroit courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that the family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal reference and conference with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Detroit Lions, whom the judge firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
Pearl Harbor December 7, 2008
Posted by The Underground Conservative in U.S. History.comments closed
67 years ago today.
December 7, 1941. As FDR said at the time:
Dec. 7, 1941 – a date which will live in infamy – the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan
Understanding Poverty December 7, 2008
Posted by The Underground Conservative in Gummint-Run Skoolz, Milwaukee, Milwaukee Public Schools.comments closed
Badger Blogger has another of those MPS Spending Updates. This time, a bunch of people working on our dime went to the Cork N Cleaver on S. Howell Avenue. What did they spend?
Try $54,438.86 on things like “Data Retreats,” “Holistic Writing Scoring,” “Writing Assignment Food” and “Management Inservice” for what was classified as “Understanding Poverty.”
Once again, we can’t make stuff like this up.
As Patrick says:
I wonder if the more than $6,500 they spent for these two events helped them understand poverty.
