The TOTUS Goes Missing

That’s right.

The real brains behind the throne, the Teleprompter of the United States, was stolen.

When you see President Obama speak, there is a pretty typical setup including the presidential seal on a podium, the see-thru Teleprompter and a portable sound system.

Thieves saw the truck carrying that equipment and couldn’t resist the target.

We’re told the truck was parked at the Virginia Center Commons Courtyard Marriott in advance on Wednesday’s presidential visit to Chesterfield.

Sources said inside that vehicle was about $200,000 worth of sound equipment, several podiums and presidential seals, behind which only the President himself can stand.

You remember the TOTUS, don’t you? That item that Our Lord and Savior uses to hold staff meetings and talk to elementary school students. That item which, when Barack Hussein Obama doesn’t use it, He appears to be a babbling idiot. Um … umm … hold on there … er …. uh …. ummmm. And even when he does use it, He also appears to be little more than an empty suit.

How about a breathalyzer for treating asthma?

Teleprompter FAIL.

Losing His place on the teleprompter.

Losing His place on the teleprompter again.

Stammer and stutter.

Then there’s always “corpse-man.”

Well, we now know where the TOTUS is. He’s hiding and has issued a list of demands for his safe return. Iowahawk has that list of demands:

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